Petit Nuage Noir & Puma Rouge / Little Dark Cloud & Red Puma - #2 - 3

You may wonder why on previous posts I started writing...
Especially in English, which is not my native language.

At some point I wonder too.

Or not.

Well the language part is to complicate things for some people such as my students... Maybe I should have chosen an other pseudonym to distanciate my artist life and my personal life... But It is too late for this career. Although it would allow me to be more open about certain things. But well, it's gonna be for another career...

About why I write... Well at some point it is a way to share with people interested in my work... If they have the courage to read this... And maybe because thanks to the Internet you can share with (I was gonna say millions of people, but seing the statistics of my blog, not the case) people almost anonymoulsy. At some point I found it hard to speak my mind to people, people I know, and at some point having conversations with self is a bit pointless (check the song "Losing my mind" by Richie Kotzen, it contains the lyrics "I still talk to myself, so I don't forget who I am") and it is easier to write, for people who don't care, just getting things out... Being a... how can I call that? An insignificant columnist or just another blogger... With dreams of grandeur and/or megalomania.
A wannabe comic book star, a wannabe author...

Recently, I read that Clare Maguire had to fight alcoholism after the flop of her first album... A first album that in my opinion is an excellent album! I mean, I listen to this album over and over again, in it's entierty, I was hooked since I heared "Ain't nobody" (by the way can somebody tell me why it is impossible to find the original version of the song and its video on youtube?) and the album didn't disappoint, it was what I needed, I still listen to that album (althought I had to stop for a while, because well, sometimes too much is too much).
But if she read this, she has to know how much that album means to me!
And if once day I release the book I work on from time to time about the greatest albums, there is a place for Light After Dark in it.

My point was that I think that if someone says that my book(s) meant something like that album (and others) meant/means to me, even if the book is not that much selling, I would feel good, I hope she does, even if it doesn't pay my bills -I hope she can pay hers and she'll be able to make other albums as good or better than her first one. I understand how she would feel, feel this sort of rejection... Selling only to people I know... Or people I know know at best... So I kinda pretend I matter -ok I do, but not on that level- and write... Illusory fame... Illusory audiance, I am writing this like I would be playing air-guitar on any song in my room...

Just an illusion...

Insignificant.

But still hoping...